Silver Lining: the truth is...

October 1, 2012

the truth is...

all images via my Pinterest

I love fall. I love the colors of fall, and the wardrobe, and the crispness of the air.

But the truth is... fall is tainted now. It's different than the falls I used to know, and now, when the trees change, I think, this was the time of year. It was the time of year that my mom went about her normal activities, doing her normal good, and then, one morning, she didn't. And she was in a hospital bed for seven and a half weeks, and then she was gone.

Sometimes in the morning, it smells like the morning she collapsed, that morning I got the text message from 800 miles away, and that first night that she almost didn't make it through.

It smells like that in the mornings now, and I love the smell, and I love fall, but it's also the smell of never being the same.

And that's the truth here on this beautiful October morning.


  1. these are beautiful and make me want more of fall!!

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post. At least you have love all around you to help you through.

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. Although these difficult memories will always stay with you, I hope that the wonderful memories trump them every time. x

  4. I didn't know this about you Brooke! I am impressed with how strong you are! This was a beautiful post, I am certain she is watching over you daily.

  5. This is a beautiful post, even though it's sad. I'm amazed by the amount of strength you have, and my prayers will be with you while you're going through this difficult time period where all you can do is remember. Hopefully you can bring up happy memories along with some of the sad ones.

  6. So sorry for you loss, and praying for many happy memories of your sweet mom to be with you during this hard time. xo heather

  7. Hi Brooke,
    I've been hearing about you from Elisabeth on La Vita e Bella, and I decided to check your blog out. It is beautiful, and so is your writing. I'm definitely following you now!

    I'm deeply sorry for your loss. This post was lovely and heart-wrenching. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Also, I know your husband! I was in his ward when he lived at The Elms in the summer of 2010 (I think that's what year it was...) Anyway. Small world!
    I look forward to reading more from you!

    What's in a Name?

  8. I needed to read this post today... I lost my father a month ago and I was really struggling today in Wal-Greens when I smelled Old Spice... It's comforting to know I'm not alone in my grief...


  9. That time of year thou mayst in me behold
    When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
    Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
    Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
    In me thou seest the twilight of such day
    As after sunset fadeth in the west,
    Which by and by black night doth take away,
    Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.
    In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
    That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
    As the death-bed whereon it must expire
    Consumed with that which it was nourish'd by.
    This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong,
    To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

    We can't argue with Shakespeare. I love you!

  10. We can only imagine all the delicious, never-sad, smells of heaven. Will it smell in heaven? Frangrances so delightful! We shall be with the Maker of smells. What more could we possibly ask for?

    Love this post. Prayers for you as you miss your Mom.

  11. Your right, fall never will be the same for you. It isn't supposed to be. I think it's inspiring that you can embrace that change in your life. Thank you for sharing.


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