Silver Lining: it's a privilege

September 28, 2014

it's a privilege

I frequently get asked "what's being a mom like?" And my super eloquent answer is usually "uhhhhh." As we all know, I have a history of giving terrible on-the-spot answers. Remember when I told aspiring teachers that the best part of the job was the ice machine? Or how I was once interviewed for a local news story, and didn't make the cut because all I could think of to say was "it was fun?"

It's the same thing when people ask what being a mom is like. Honestly, it's everything. It's late-night feedings and it's constantly trying to find a pacifier and it's sweet little coos and laughs. It's feeling so incredibly needed and so incredibly loved. Before I had children, I would see this quote often. I used to think it would be my parenting motto.

"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice 
will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you ever make." 
Gordon B. Hinckley

I thought having children would be this great sacrifice that President Hinckley was talking about. I was prepared to give up my body, my life, my sleep, my friends, my quality of marriage for this great little investment. I've even seen this quote on Pinterest among collections of quotes about motherhood (the quote is actually referring to serving an LDS mission). But honestly, it just doesn't apply to motherhood. Because being a mother isn't a sacrifice. It's a privilege. Every smile, every cuddle, every tiny finger and toe, every unglamorous late night and every poopy diaper change- it's a privilege.

Everyone's experience is different, but motherhood is wonderful for me. It's not this terrible, exhausting, difficult journey that I used to believe it would be. I shower! I sleep! I still have friends! I still leave the house every day! Of course some days are harder than others, and for me, breastfeeding really has been as hard as some of the horror stories I heard. But even so, motherhood is not a sacrifice. Of course it's a lot of work. Everything worth doing is a lot of work. But I still don't think of it as a sacrifice, or even as an investment. Even in my craziest worn-thin fussy baby day, it hasn't been a sacrifice. Not even one second of this incredible experience has been a sacrifice. It's a privilege, and I love it.

____


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15 comments:

  1. I totally agree! I'ts hard some days, but it's the most rewarding thing ever!

    The Morrell Tale

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    1. I totally agree. Thanks for the comment :)

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  2. I struggled with nursing my daughter as well and it was the hardest, most frustrating part of being her parent in the beginning-well that and colic. Eventually I gave up and did formula. The nurses at the hospital were always like just do this or that. Hold her differently. You are doing this or that wrong. Some people used to tell me that it wasn't me. It wasn't something I did wrong, it was just hard because some babies are harder than others. I didn't really believe that until I had my son. He was seriously the easiest baby to nurse ever. We had no problems. I did nothing differently. But because it was hard with the first, he felt like a vacation :) So just remember, you aren't doing anything wrong and you know what, my daughter is perfectly normal even though she was a formula baby. They are all so different. I love the perfect moments being a parent.

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    1. I hope my second child is easier in the nursing department! Thanks Katie :)

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  3. It's so true! Motherhood is a privilege, it's also the biggest blessing ever. I try to remember that on the days when I want to pull all my hair out and rock back and forth in a corner. :)

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    1. Amen! There are definitely hard days, but it's so much happier when we focus on the good :)

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  4. I love your attitude. I would say I definitely feel sometimes that I make sacrifices for my children, but in those moments I'm sure my attitude could use some improvement. It truly is a privilege, amidst all the crazy that each day brings, to be the one to bring these babies into the world, to show them so many things for the first time, and teach, teach, teach, and love them. I guess sometimes I am overwhelmed and realize this is way harder than I thought it would be, but I truly wouldn't have it any other way.

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    1. It was totally overwhelming for me too! I think going into it knowing what I was still going to do and not to in regards to my free time, my career, etc. really helped me view it as a privilege, not a sacrifice. Loved your comment Anna!

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  5. Breastfeeding is no joke! Baby boy turned a month old yesterday, and I realized how fast it goes by. Some people would call it a sacrifice, but to me it's just part of the package. I can't not feed him or not hold him if he is fussy. It's my job and like you said it's a privilege. Though no lie, the nights where he sleeps for four hours are AMAZING and the ones where he doesn't are hard. It's not easy but it's totally worth it!

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    1. The sleeping part does get better! I promise :) And yeah, I am a 100% different woman when baby sleeps through the night. The first time she slept through the night, I was like "what's happening?? Did I always have this much energy??" haha

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  6. I LOVE this. And I totally agree, I think it's maybe a "thing" to make motherhood sound a lot harder than it is? I know it's not easy and glamorous, and there are a lot of things about it that ARE really hard, but if we focus on the positive (like you have here!), I think it's a lot more beautiful and awesome than people let on!

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    1. I think it's easier for people to focus on the negative (me included!). Plus we respond emotionally to negative things a lot stronger than positive things. But when I think about it, the positive is at least 95% of the time, and there are only a few negative things, so I try to focus on the positive.

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  7. Another beautifully written post that is most definitely true and relatable.

    Whilst the days of me wanting to pull my hair out may well have increased as Alexander has got older, one cheeky little smile brings all the positivity back. Without the occasional hard time, we couldn't appreciate all the good ones.
    :-)
    Bits & Bobs

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  8. I love your positive outlook! I have a bun in the oven so I like to see the good when people are so quick to tell you the bad.

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  9. You are so right Brooke, it is a privilege! A privilege that so many woman do not get. Our children have really helped give me a glimpse at how much my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to succeed. The baby days were so precious to me, however, each stage (even 6 and 9 years old) is something special. There are "those days", but I have to say when I slow down and realize that they are just little people and still need all the love that I gave them as infants, I feel comfort, joy and love.
    I enjoy checking your blog daily, so fun!

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