when your little brother gets married

My brother got married on Saturday! The festivities began with an absolutely gorgeous sealing ceremony in the Salt Lake City temple. It was simple and beautiful, and by the time it was over, there was hardly a dry eye in the whole room (in my case, hardly a dry spot to be found anywhere on my entire face or in my multiple kleenexes haha).  Afterwards, we took some pictures and then headed to a family luncheon. I only snapped a few pictures that morning, but here they are!

We could not have asked for a more beautiful day!

The sisters. 

We had a range of creams to pair with mint greens, teals, and turquoises for a mismatched bridesmaid look.

Not to mention our flower crowns!

The great thing about Covey and Ellie is that they are so happy together. Check out those smiles in the pictures when they're coming out of the temple. You just can't fake happiness like that. I thought I'd be super protective of my brothers when they started getting serious with girls, but within a few minutes of knowing Ellie, I knew I had nothing to worry about. She is beautiful and selfless and always happy. They are great together - even if they have a tendency to be in their own little oblivious lovebird bubble sometimes. That's how it should be though, right? ;)

Up next on the blog - the reception! And the most gorgeous photos of the whole day.

PS - for those of you that have asked on instagram and twitter, here's a link and short video about why Mormons get married in the temple, and how it's more than just 'till death do us part: CLICK HERE.

the not-so-sunny side of me

Blogging is a sunny-side-up kind of thing.

I'm a sunny-side-up kind of person, so it works out nicely. But there's a line between being optimistic and making your life sound better than it is. A line between positivity and omission. So here's the other side of me right now, for the sake of honesty and documenting my life on this blog of mine. I love the sunny side, but life isn't supposed to be only sunny-side-up.

If you prefer the sunny-side-up of things, and only that side, you should probably stop reading. I won't be mad. Some days, I do that too.

______________________________

We all have insecurities. Mine right now are about my job next year, and about my sweet husband who's having a hard time deciding which direction to go in with his career.

We all have realities. Mine are about the harsh realities of child abuse and molestation in Utah Valley that I learned about yesterday that make me physically ill. They are also about the fact that some weeks, you work hard exercising and dieting all week and the scale doesn't show it.

We all have sadness. Mine is about my mom, who I'm still sad about, three years later. I think about having babies one day without her, and I get sad, and wonder who will come stay at my house in those early days, who will help me and Sam figure parenthood out? My sadness is also about my sweet friend who has to say goodbye to her foster babies. I used to support the preservation of biological families, but now I have such a different viewpoint.

______________________________

So there you have it. The sunny-side-down of me right now. Luckily, there is still a sunny side. Luckily, everyone goes through things like this, and it's kind of the point of this life. I never grow or change or learn more about myself than during the hard times. And in the end, I believe it makes you better. It has to.

This is one of my favorite quotes from Great Expectations. I've shared it before, and I'll probably share it again. It's at the end, when Estella is reunited with Pip after many years. They're talking about what life has done for them, and Estella says:

So here's to thinking about the silver lining in life.
Here's to knowing hard things come, but still feeling peace.
Here's to recognizing the growth potential in the non-floofy, non-perfect parts of your life.
And here's to embracing it.
(And I really am fine. I'm happy, I promise!)

What's one thing that's sunny side down for you right now?

Dare you share it?

into a better shape

Today, I'm not thinking about blogs. I'm not thinking about thrifting or DIY crafts or how to beautify the lovenest or silly little anecdotes of my everyday life.




I'm thinking about this day two years ago.




This was the day I got a text that shattered my perfect little life.




I'm thinking about red-eye flights that first night. 




I'm thinking of a few days after that, taking the kids trick-or-treating. The neighbors asked with their eyes, and found their answer when I couldn't meet their gaze.




I'm thinking of home-delivered hospice beds, midnight shifts, and a yard full of balloons.




I'm thinking of love. Love and charity and peace and angels like I've never seen before.




I'm thinking of high heels that sank into a snowy graveyard, and breath that rose into the air. Yesterday I left one red gerbera, a box of hot tamales, and a lot of tears at that cemetery. And a penny for the angel statue's collection.

I'm thinking of eternity.


Sometimes things happen in your life, and you instantly know you will never be the same again. I won't be the same. Not a day goes by where I feel like I'm the same.


But the thing is - it's not in the blueprints to remain the same. The plan is to learn and grow and change.


As Estella once said, "I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."