Today I wanted to answer all your questions about the logistics of twins. I asked if anyone had questions last week (two weeks ago?) in my Instagram Stories and got lots of really great ones. Every mom's experiences and preferences are so different, but this is what works for me and my family. The twins are seven months old right now, and we quite like them. Here's how we make it work without going too crazy.
I keep my twins on the same schedule.
Keeping the twins on the same schedule was the number one piece of advice I got from other twin moms while I was pregnant. It's the only way I stay sane.
We were firm about keeping the twins on the same schedule from when they were one month old (when my extra helpers went home). If they're on different schedules, I get frustrated because I am holding or feeding or changing or playing with a baby alllllll day long, and literally nothing else gets done. So they eat, get changed, play, go to bed and wake up at the same time. If I'm already changing one diaper, it only takes a minute to change a second diaper, and if I'm already taking the time to feed a baby, it's no problem to feed the other one at the same time.
How do you feed two babies at the same time?
I use this twin pillow! (Seriously, every single twin mom needs one. The twins have spent hundreds of hours in this thing since day one.) They both lay in it and drink their bottles. In the beginning, I pumped and switched off which twin got formula and which got breastmilk, but now they're fully on formula.
When we're away from home, I just sit on a couch with one twin on each side, each of their heads up on my lap and feed one bottle with each hand.
How do you bathe two babies at the same time?
I don't! They get bathed one after the other. Just the thought of keeping two wiggly babies with terrible muscle control in the same tub at the same time makes my anxiety spike. So they get bathed separately while they're still young.
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Do they still sleep together? Do they wake each other up?
Do they still sleep together? Do they wake each other up?
They slept in the same crib until they were four months old, when they started kicking and rolling on each other and waking themselves up. The snuggles were cute, but getting a good night's sleep was cuter. ;) Now they sleep in separate cribs in their room. Actually, one is a crib and one is a pack-n-play pushed into a corner. #twinproblems
It still amazes me that they rarely wake each other up. Last night Addie started screaming bloody murder at 4 a.m. when she couldn't find her pacifier, but Link just kept snoring four feet away from her. It's all they've ever known, so they're great at sleeping even when the other one is making noise.
What's the hardest part about having twins?
This changes all the time, and I'm pretty sure my husband would have a different answer, but for me the hardest part is leaving the house.
Whenever I want to go anywhere, I have to pack a diaper bag for two babies, change two babies and find socks/ jackets/ blankets to keep them warm, put them both into their carseats, and then carry 34 pounds of baby (almost 50 pounds if you add the weight of the car seats) plus a diaper bag out to the car, where they each need to be clicked in to their car seat and have their car seat cover adjusted. Plus I have a toddler who needs help going potty and putting her shoes on and likes to run away on the way to the car.
Then I get to wherever I'm going and repeat the whole process in reverse. It's especially hard when my husband is out of town. The other day I really needed to go to the pharmacy, so I had to do the entire process with three kids just to drive down the street for two things. It took half an hour and I was sweaty and grumpy by the time I got home.
The good thing is that taking kids out only gets easier as they get older. Right?
It's also hard not comparing my twins. It's easy to exaggerate their traits when compared to one another. It's also easy to think that one twin is behind developmentally just because they haven't reached a milestone their twin has reached. The fussy one vs. the easy-going one. The fat one and the tiny one. The one who can crawl and the one who isn't even interested in rolling over. The high maintenance one vs. the low maintenance one. The one with the tooth and the one without.
For some reason I get comparison comments from strangers all the time. "Looks like this one's the hog!" or "Well we know which one is the diva!" It kind of bugs me. Babies develop at different paces and that's okay. I hope the comparison comments stop by the time they get old enough to realize what people are saying.
What's the best part about having twins?
You guys, I love having twins so much. Every single high you get as a parent, you experience double. The matching outfits pretty much kill me with cuteness. When both twins smile at you, or smile at each other, or make funny faces while eating avocado, or just have fun playing together on the carpet - it is the best. They are built-in playmates and best friends, and it's so much fun that they have each other.
Other best parts: all the wonderful comments you get (everyone comments all the time and I love it, although if you're less extroverted than me you might not appreciate this as much), the preferential treatment you get, the way people let you off the hook for everything because you have two babies, and the free stuff and discounts you get with twins.
In fact, the other day I got sad for my toddler because she didn't have a twin - someone to always be with and play with and snuggle with. Ha!
What did I miss?
Other questions you have?
Leave a comment - I'd be happy to answer!