I'm a sunny-side-up kind of person, so it works out nicely. But there's a line between being optimistic and making your life sound better than it is. A line between positivity and omission. So here's the other side of me right now, for the sake of honesty and documenting my life on this blog of mine. I love the sunny side, but life isn't supposed to be only sunny-side-up.
If you prefer the sunny-side-up of things, and only that side, you should probably stop reading. I won't be mad. Some days, I do that too.
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We all have insecurities. Mine right now are about my job next year, and about my sweet husband who's having a hard time deciding which direction to go in with his career.
We all have realities. Mine are about the harsh realities of child abuse and molestation in Utah Valley that I learned about yesterday that make me physically ill. They are also about the fact that some weeks, you work hard exercising and dieting all week and the scale doesn't show it.
We all have sadness. Mine is about my mom, who I'm still sad about, three years later. I think about having babies one day without her, and I get sad, and wonder who will come stay at my house in those early days, who will help me and Sam figure parenthood out? My sadness is also about my sweet friend who has to say goodbye to her foster babies. I used to support the preservation of biological families, but now I have such a different viewpoint.
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So there you have it. The sunny-side-down of me right now. Luckily, there is still a sunny side. Luckily, everyone goes through things like this, and it's kind of the point of this life. I never grow or change or learn more about myself than during the hard times. And in the end, I believe it makes you better. It has to.
This is one of my favorite quotes from Great Expectations. I've shared it before, and I'll probably share it again. It's at the end, when Estella is reunited with Pip after many years. They're talking about what life has done for them, and Estella says:
So here's to thinking about the silver lining in life.
Here's to knowing hard things come, but still feeling peace.
Here's to recognizing the growth potential in the non-floofy, non-perfect parts of your life.
And here's to embracing it.
(And I really am fine. I'm happy, I promise!)
What's one thing that's sunny side down for you right now?
Dare you share it?
My whole house is sunny side down for me right now :) Dishes, laundry, stuff everywhere, etc...
ReplyDeleteNo one can replace your mom when you have a new baby and that will always be sad, but you will have loads of help! Julie, Grace, Kristy, aunts from your dad's side, you'll be swimming in help! You might even have to start turning people down :) Thanks for admitting you have bad days!
My sunny side down is the fact that I have three wonderful boys and am missing out on a huge chunk of my oldest son's life because of a decision I chose to make almost 10 years ago. I beat myself up silently each day and wish I could shout it from the roof tops. I wish I could tell young girls, young women and women all around me that bad choices follow you no matter where you go.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this!
Talisha
We all have those days! I swear half my life is sunny side down. or should is say half is up haha! glass half full right?
ReplyDeletexoxo, carrie
Aww thanks for sharing. Once in awhile it's good talk about those parts of ourselves :)
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Brooke, I'm already there, ready to stay with you, help you, love you, and spoil your child completely rotten. Silly girl.
ReplyDelete