when it comes to the end

Today, I slid my nameplate out of its holder, locked my classroom for the last time, and turned my keys in. It's been a day of lots of laughter, and lots of tears (my kids said I should say I'm sweating out of my eyeballs, or else blame it on the fact that I'm pregnant).

Mostly, I want it down on public record that my years of teaching 5th grade at Meadow Elementary have been one of the greatest privileges of my entire life. I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to have been able to be part of that staff. I have been able to work with the most amazing students, parents, and faculty on the planet. They have taught me how to be a better teacher, friend, mom, and human being just by being around them.

Whew! Sometime soon I"ll stop crying. Goodness gracious.

And now - on to the next great adventure!

two very different moments

There was a moment yesterday where it was 81.8 degrees in my classroom, I was feeling extremely pregnant, piles of half-packed books and files were everywhere, the kids were running wild, and the third student in two weeks had just thrown up all over his desk. At that moment, I thought "I am SO READY for the school year to be over."

There was another moment, just today, when I was handing out superlative awards to my students. You know - everyone sits in a circle, then I call up students one at a time, they sit in the hot seat and spin around slowly while I say good things about them, and then I give them their award (most likely to be a billionaire!) and they sit down. And do you know what? My cute kids sneakily made me an award, which they all signed at recess. So they called me up, made me sit in the hot seat while they said good things about me, and then gave me my award (most likely to be the best mom ever). At that moment, I thought "I will never ever be ready for this school year to be over."

And then I got a kleenex and pretended it was allergies.

That's how this week has gone, and that's how the next two days will be. Crazy, chaotic, hot and sweaty, but also amazing, sweet, nostalgic, and so so sad when I leave. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, here are a few quick pictures from my vacation last weekend. Somehow, the stars aligned: none of the 5th grade teachers have little kids at home, we had a free place to stay, and our schedules were mostly open that weekend, so we took a quick trip down to St. George. It was short, but so great! 

Gorgeous gorgeous red rocks

Bear Paw for breakfast! Already dreaming of my next visit...

 New pedicures for everyone

 Fastest way to clear a pool: get 5 teachers in their swimsuits, and then stick 'em all in the water and have them play a weird hand game their students are obsessed with. Works like a charm ;)

the gorgeous view out our back porch 

I'll be back after school's out with lots and lots of belated posts (St. George! a baby shower! etc!). In the meantime, thanks for sticking with me anyway. Two more days, and then I have a stack of books and a fresh supply of otter pops that are calling my name...

my students say the darnedest things {vol. 6}

What can I say about the last few weeks of teaching? As testing winds down and the weather gets warmer, the kids get more and more crazy. Which amounts to more and more hilarity here in the fifth grade. This is why I love my job.

A boy to his friend:
"I have two words for you: NEW. POKEMON. CARDS."

Teacher in the hallway:
"In second grade, we keep our arms out of our pants."

My student to her peer tutoring partner:
"Now now, if we only do that, we won't be learning as much as we could be. Would you be happy only doing the smallest amount of work for the rest of your life? Don't you want to really learn?" (Future teacher of America right here, folks. She gives better lectures than I do!)

Student:
"By the way, you look really good for a pregnant lady. You should see my mom when she gets pregnant. She gets huge all over."

After the principal made an announcement about the Coke machine being out of order in the faculty room:
Student: Stands up, points at me. "I KNEW you guys were hiding a Coke machine down there!"
Me: "The secret's out, I guess. We also have an ice cream machine and a birthday cake machine down there. Oh, and they're all free."
Student: "Don't mess with me after I finally learned the truth about the Coke machine."

4th grader holding back tears at recess:
"He said these are cumulus clouds in the sky right now. He's wrong! I know he's wrong! They're cumulo-nimbus! I know they are!"

Games I've broken up at recess: (these were all innocent, but still)

• CPR
• ride 'em cowboy
• face-to-face dog-piling girls vs boys

Random second grader at recess:
Walks past me, looks at me, stops, walks backwards to me.
Pointing to my belly: "Is there a baby in there?"
Me: "Yes."
Comes up to me, hugs my tummy with two hands and puts her head on it. Stays there. Starts rubbing.
Me: "Heh heh." Awkwardly patting her head, trying to get her to stop.
She doesn't stop.
Me: "Uh thanks." Trying to pull away. Paranoid that a parent will come around the corner and see us in this weird embrace.
She finally stops. Turns around, starts walking away.
"By the way, it usually really hurts when they get the baby out of there."
Walks away.

Student:
"The sub you got for us was weird. She said when she was a teenager, she swore off men and she's never looked back. I thought that was weird, since I'm not allowed to swear at men or women."

You can't make these things up, people. 

If you're ever in need of a good laugh, come spend a day observing my classroom. 

You won't be disappointed :)

Photographic evidence that teachers are crazy

Picture this: six small cabins nestled in a mountainside an hour outside of the nearest city. Beautiful crisp mornings and sunshine rising over the peaks. Three feet of glistening untouched snow. Sounds peaceful, right?

Now, add 150 screaming kids, three days of sleep deprivation, non-stop time and management commitments, and some live-in mice who are waaaaay too friendly.

Still sound peaceful?

That, my friends, sums up Clear Creek. It's an outdoor education camp we take our kiddos to. The 5th grade teachers are crazy for going every year, taking all those kiddos, and doing it for three days straight, but we do it anyway. The kids have a blast (at least we hope they do!), it really is beautiful up there, and oh the late-night bonding that happens after the students have been banished to their cabins!

I wish I could post pictures of the cute (and hyper!) kiddos, but as it is, you'll have to enjoy my beautiful coworkers and our sleep-deprived mountain women style :)

^^Look at these fabulous ladies. I seriously love my team!^^

I love the 5th grade team this year. They make Clear Creek so much fun. They also made fun of me for how poorly I reacted to those mice... Let's just say fear of mice is something I definitely have :)

what I'm doing next year: one of the most vulnerable posts I've ever written

This is one of those posts that has been literally weeks in the making. I've known exactly what I wanted to say, but those dang sentences would never form in a cohesive manner! I've drafted, deleted, and drafted again. Maybe it was so tough for me to write this because I feel like this is a snapshot into the very center of my heart. The writer in me knows this post is still not perfect, but it's my best for now. It's also a very honest post, so please be nice to me, because I feel very vulnerable posting it.

For decades, I've wanted to be a teacher. For decades, I've wanted to be a mother. What I didn't think about was how those two roles would coexist, or even if they would coexist. For some reason, I didn't think about that at all until I got pregnant. Suddenly I was faced with a choice: should I teach or stay home next year?


What I didn't bank on was how much I would love teaching. How difficult it would be to think of giving it up. Honestly, I love it. Teaching is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Teaching gives me more purpose, joy, and meaning in my life than I ever thought possible. I like how productive I feel after working a long day, and I like that I work for education, which is one of the noblest causes out there. I love that my end goal isn't a new sale, or a pageview count, or a bonus commission, but the actual education of children. I love getting little glimpses that a student has recognized the value of education in their lives, that they learn to love feeling vulnerable, growing, and experiencing their world. Not to mention my amazing coworkers, who often know more about my life than my family, since I spend nine hours a day with them. I feel comfortable when I'm at school. My classroom is my little kingdom: I'm in charge and I accomplish things in there, and at the risk of sounding ridiculously arrogant, I think I'm good at it. Teaching is one of those things I believe I can actually do.


When I got pregnant, my plans for next year became a huge source of stress and internal conflict for me. I knew I loved teaching, and that it would always be one of the most meaningful things in my life. I knew I loved my little baby already, and that I would jump at any opportunity to be with her, to hold her, to love her. Also, this isn't popular among all people, but I believe that the ideal family situation involves one parent, preferably the mother, at home. But I also believe that women should pursue their careers if they want. I believe in the peace of mind that a second income provides to a family, especially a family that's still in the "just starting out" financial phases like us.


Sometimes becoming a mom scared me. Still does, actually. Scares me silly. It's just fear of the unknown. It's hard to leave something that I have experience with, that I'm comfortable doing, that I'm good at, for something totally brand new. What if being a mom exhausts me physically, mentally, and emotionally beyond what I can handle? What if I don't know how to provide for my child's needs? What if my world shrinks down to the mundane tasks of bottles, diapers, sleep deprivation, and one tiny person who can't even converse with me? What if something comes up and we need a second income?


I started asking advice from other moms/teachers I knew. The stay at home moms told me that 100% it was worth it, that even on the hardest days they NEVER regretted their choice to leave teaching, that they wouldn't trade time with their child for anything. The working moms I know told me that it's totally doable to work full-time and have a child, that daycare doesn't always have to be a scary place, that their job provides important financial security to their family even though it's hard to do. The working ladies who don't have kids told me that OF COURSE they would be stay at home moms if they ever got the chance.


That confused me even more. All sides had great points. I spent weeks avoiding thinking about it, because it stressed me out. (When will I learn that avoiding stressful topics actually stresses one out more?) When I was at school, I wanted to stay there and teach next year. When I was at home, I wanted to stay there and take care of my sweet baby next year.


Eventually, I told myself to get a grip, put on my big girl pants, and start praying about it. So I did. My husband and I had late-night discussion after late-night discussion about it. We prayed, read my patriarchal blessing, made pros and cons lists, and went to the temple.


One evening, Sam and I were sitting in our car in the temple parking lot, talking about next year. I was crying (surprise surprise) with the stress and indecision of this huge choice I was making. I remember rolling down the window and leaning my head back on the window frame to get some fresh night air. Looking up at all the stars that were out that night, I suddenly felt so close. So incredibly close to the spirits who are up there beyond the stars. Those spirits didn't feel like they were a million miles away, unfindable by man. They felt like they were right here, right now, with me in that car. I don't know if I was feeling particularly close to God or to my sweet unborn baby or to my mom, but I felt such a connection that night, and utterly surrounded by peace. Peace that I had never felt before. My tears dried up, my baby started moving around inside of me like she never had before, and I knew.


I'm not going to teach full time next year.


I remember sitting there with my head leaned back on the window frame for a long time that night, breathing the air and talking to Sam. After so much indecision and stress, just having an answer was a huge relief. We enjoyed the peace and the certainty and my kicking baby for a long time.


And then, I turned to Sam and wept. I wept because of what I was giving up. I wept because, even though I'm finding some part-time work, it won't be the same next year. I won't have my own class, I won't belong to 30 students who say I'm their teacher, I won't have the same little kingdom that I'm in charge of and comfortable with and good at leading. I'm really really going to miss it, and I wept because saying goodbye to being a full-time teacher for now will be really hard. And Sam just sat there all nobly, letting me get snot and tears and mascara all over his white shirt. That man is one in a million.


Eventually, I stopped crying. There's a time to cry about things, and then there's a time to stop crying and move on to better things. Also, I was getting a cramp in my neck from leaning over to Sam's shoulder. I took deep breaths, stole one last look at those stars, and rolled up the window. I gathered all the trust I've ever had in myself and mentally stored it away. And then Sam kissed me, said "let's do this, darling," and we drove home.

And that's how I made my choice about teaching next year.


Some important post-decision information:

• I'm still looking for something part-time. I love teaching, and teaching is part of who I am. That might look like a shared contract, or it might look like a specialty teacher, or it might look like after-school tutoring and piano lessons. I'm so incredibly happy that I get to keep teaching kids, and also be home with my baby. It's the best of both worlds. 
• I have felt so much peace since making that choice. This is huge, coming from a person like me who second-guesses EVERY CHOICE I EVER MAKE. I have never once gone back and wondered if I made the right choice. It has felt right every second since I made it.
• My choice has made me love teaching even more. It's easy to get dragged down by disrespectful students or problems with parents at school. But lately, since I know it won't be like this next year, I am just loving those kids and enjoying every second I get to spend with them. It makes me love this job more than I ever have, and appreciate everything about it. I want to be the best teacher I can be for my remaining months.

If you're still reading this, congratulations! You deserve a huge round of applause and possibly some chocolate for making it through this very dense post. I hope you know how much respect I have for the full-time working moms out there, and for people who have different viewpoints than my own. Working moms have strength and stamina I'm not sure I ever could have! I feel I should also mention that all the mascara and snot came out of Sam's white shirt, which I personally feel was another miracle of that week.


P.S. Two of my blogging friends, Bonnie and Tayler, are also posting today about their decision regarding teaching next year. Check out Bonnie's blog HERE and Tayler's blog HERE to read about their decision. We also decided to make this thang a link-up! If you have any posts about teaching, working, being a stay at home mom, earning income at home, or anything in that category, please link it up! I love reading about other women and their stories.







P.P.S. We decided to make this a giveaway too. Enter below to win $15 to Babies R Us! (Thanks Tayler for putting this all together!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you're in a similar position, I'd love to hear from you! How did you decide what to do? Have you ever regretted it? What worked best for you?

my students say the darnedest things {vol. 5}

Today was maturation day in 5th grade... easily the most hilarious day of the school year. So much drama! Add that to my awesome, funny class in general, and you get a lot of good quotes. (Some of these are from my neighboring teachers too.)

Maturation day:
Boy: "That was probably the freakiest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Girl: "I'm not nervous about today because my parents already talked to me about everything they're going to talk about. It was weird though, because the whole time when they talked to me, I kept laughing. Nothing was funny, but I just kept laughing the whole time they were talking to me about maturation stuff."

Boy, who looks really sad: "Didn't they used to give you free deodorant afterwards?"
Me: "Yeah they did. Their budget was cut this year though, so no deodorant."
Boy: "Dang. My brother said shoving your deodorant into the girls faces is the best part."

During math:
Student: "I try and try, but I'll never remember the word cross-reducing. Can't we just call it the super duper shortcut way?"
Another student: "No way! That's the confusing way. Let's call it the guaranteed to get the wrong answer way!"

About my baby (my whole class is obsessed with my baby. It's kind of cute):
"Name her Blakely!"

"Name her Jersey!"

"Name her my name!"

"Name her Neveah! That's heaven spelled backwards! Isn't that cool?!" (I get at least one request for the name Neveah per week)

And a kid on the playground during bus duty: "My sister said it's a girl. Can you make it be a boy instead?"


Practicing their opening paragraphs for a persuasive essay: 
(I told them to pick any topic they want, since I was only checking for structure)
"Have you ever wanted to burst into flames? The best way to die is to put gasoline on your s'mores before you roast them. First of all, it's been cold lately. Next, dying in dumb ways gets you straight to heaven. Finally, fire's the new fashion. That's why the coolest way to die is by putting gasoline on your s'mores before you roast them."

"Do you ever get sick of boring yellow bananas? Purple bananas are way better than yellow. First of all, yellow is such a boring color. In addition, purple bananas don't even taste like real bananas. Finally, they are cheaper than yellow bananas because they have never been tested on humans. In the end, purple bananas are better than yellow bananas."

"Unicorns are better than chubby babies. First of all, unicorns can give you wishes but chubby babies cannot. Also, unicorns are full of sprinkles. Chubby babies are full of poop. Last but not least, unicorns are fluffy, but chubby babies are fat and vicious. In conclusion, unicorns are better than chubby babies."
_______________

If you ever need a pick-me-up, just observe an elementary school classroom. It's the guaranteed fastest way for you to laugh your head off AND gain a new appreciation for your relatively few kids, quiet house, and peaceful life. And all in five minutes! :)

to the practicum students

This is my amazing team of 5th grade teachers. It's okay to be jealous of how cool we are.

Yesterday we got some new little practicum students at our school. They're not actually little (they're college students) but they're little in the sense that they don't really know about teaching yet. They come to observe and teach a little. I remember what it was like when I was a practicum student. So excited, so nervous, and NO CLUE what to expect.


When I was being introduced to two of the practicum students, one of them asked what advice I would give, as a young teacher myself. Uhhh. Asking me for advice on the spot is a virtual guarantee that my mind will go blank. I'm pretty sure I said something stupid like "did you know we have an ice machine in the faculty room?" haha


And then I spent the whole day thinking about it. Advice? Advice? Hmmm. Frankly, I still don't know anything. Two years down the road, and I still feel like one of those little practicum students. So excited, so nervous, and no clue what to expect.


Technically, yes, I do know a lot more than I used to when I was a practicum student. I know how to do all those things they teach you about - differentiation, inquiry and collaboration. I can do schedules and unit plans and sub plans. I can tell the difference between a kid who actually has to go to the bathroom and one who just wants to get out of class. I can spot gum in a mouth from across the room (this skill took me most of last year to develop).


But honestly? I still don't know anything.


All I could think about was the Bloody Nose Incident of 2014. There I was last week, during recess, with a garbage can in one hand and clorox wipes in the other. I was crouching in the hallway and wiping up drips from the bloodiest nose a basketball has ever bestowed on a ten-year-old. Your college professors can sit in their classrooms and tell you all about theorists and Best Teaching Practices and make you memorize values and ideals. And those are all good things to know. But until you're wiping up blood during your break so the kids coming in from recess don't slip on it, you don't know what it's really like to be a teacher.


In the end, it's not about how many Best Teaching Practices you memorized that semester. It's not about the deadlines or the politics or the letter grades. It's about the kids. It's about your crazy, hyper, capable, bright, happy, volatile, full-of-personality students.


Try to remember that each day, is what I would say to the practicum students. Remember it's about the kids. I know we work early mornings, and I know we don't get paid enough, and I know it's easy to be weighed down by a lot of things. But it's not about any of that. It's about these kids. These incredibly emotional, vulnerable, talented kids. These kids who, in the end, just want to please you. These kids who will blow you away with how far they're capable of advancing, how much they're capable of growing and learning and helping each other. How incredibly kind they are in this world of unkindness. Of course they'll drive you crazy at one point or the other (ahem, the week before spring break and the third week of May). But they're still your kids. Especially that kid whose blood you're currently cleaning. That kid who didn't want to miss class that day, so he called his mom for a clean pair of clothes and shoved toilet paper up his nose so he could come back to class.


That kid is what it's about. Focus on the kids, and you will LOVE this career.


And hey, doesn't that sound way better than the fact that we have an ice machine? If only I could think of these things on the spot! :)

my students say the darnedest things {vol. 5}

The craziness continues in the fifth grade. It's a good thing I love the craziness! I swear I have the best job in the world.

Excuses for being absent/tardy:
"I went swimming yesterday and my legs were really sore, so I had to stay home and rest them."

"My little cousin is sick. We had to stay home in case he got worse and we had to go play with him. He lives two hours away."

"It was really cold this morning and I thought it might become a snow day." (it hadn't snowed for a week and a half)

"My mom had to go to the doctor this morning, and it's too much for her to get herself and me ready for school, so I had to stay home until she got back from the doctor."


Gifts:
I got a sandwich-sized ziploc baggie with random things floating around in it: a quarter, a nickel, two big marshmallows, a caramel. It was a very sweet gesture, but I didn't quite know what to do with it.

"Mrs. Emery, I made you this drawing. I messed up on it too many times to keep, so I thought I'd give it to you."


They think teacher life is the cush life:
Student: "Mrs. Emery, it's not fair that the teachers get to sit on chairs at assemblies, but the kids have to sit on the ground!"
Me: "One day, when you have to corral 30 kids into a gym and keep them quiet during the whole assembly, you too can sit on a metal chair."

Student: "Mrs. Emery, it's not fair that teachers get to stay inside during recess, but the kids have to go out even when it's snowing! Oh, wait. Why are you putting your coat on? Do you have bus duty?"

Student: "Mrs. Emery, it's not fair that teachers get to have a snack during recess whenever they want!"
Me: "One day when you're a teacher, and it's 9AM and you've already been up and teaching for hours, and you're pregnant, you too can scarf down a banana during recess."

Things they want to do before they're 100 years old:

• Get a flying squirrel costume and jump off my house.
• Die, because nobody wants to feel that old and terrible, and still be alive.
• Discover a new element.
• Motorcycle jump over 16 school buses.
• Learn evry lang (learn every language)
• Become smarter than Albert Einstein
• Graduate colledge and get all my batchelerettes (I asked my student what "get all my batchelerettes" means, and she said "you know, it's like you get a bachelorette at graduation." "Oh, you mean bachelors of science degree?" "Yeah, but I'm a girl, so it's bachelorette. And I'm definitely not going to do science.")

Good times, good times. I'm tellin ya, 5th grade is the sweet spot of all elementary grades. I love it.

Sandy Hook Revisited: thoughts from an elementary school teacher, one year later

I was once asked how much time I spend getting my posts perfect before I publish them. Perfect? Ha! Almost none of my posts are perfect. They're usually rushed and typed at 5 in the morning and barely proofread. That's just what you have to do as a blogger/full-time worker/everything else that I am. If you wait until every post is perfect, you won't have any posts. That being said, I can count 3 or 4 posts that I really do feel I got right. Maybe 5.

Last year's post on Sandy Hook from an elementary teacher's perspective was one of those. I feel like I actually got it right. (You can read it HERE if you'd like. It's one of my top viewed and shared posts.)

On Friday, almost one year after Sandy Hook, I found myself thinking a lot about my sweet children. Of course they're crazy for winter break and of course they're hyper after so many days of inside recess. But they're so good! They are respectful and hard-working. They help each other. They want to learn, and they want me to teach them everything I know. They're creative and intuitive and expressive. 

Of course bad things are going to happen. But mostly, in times like this, I see the good. Since last year, we have policemen in our school daily, patrolling the halls, eating lunch with the students, asking all the right questions. It's kind of sad to think that this is the world my students will grow up in - a world that requires daily police presence even in an elementary school - but it's also a good world. So many good and brave people doing good and brave things.

This is one of my favorite essays about Sandy Hook. It's short and isn't designed to pull at your heartstrings. I didn't even cry when I read it. It's just an example of really good writing. I recommend you read it HERE.

This video did pull at my heartstrings a little, but I love it. It's so sweet and simple. Evil did not win that day. Watch it HERE.

And lastly, I want to leave with you these pictures from Angel Day. Each year, I get balloons, tie notes and pictures to them, and send them to heaven to tell my mom about the most important things that happened over the year. This year, the balloons were blue to match the color of her eyes and cream to match the color of the roses at her funeral. (Thank you for all the cards, chocolate, and most of all kind words and hugs on Friday!)

The holidays sure are a funny time. So many bad things, so many good things. The next few posts are definitely more light-hearted than the last two have been. This week is featuring: my birthday! The last week before winter break! And the point at which my students go certifiably insanely hyper from all the Christmas cheer!

contingency plan

Today one of my students asked "what do we do if you have a heart attack during class?"

I stared at him. "I eat cheerios for breakfast at least twice a week."

He stared back.

"Never mind," I said. "Are you worried about that?"

He just looked at me.

"Okay, well, if something happens during class, you should run and tell the office. Nurse Ellie will come and help me."

"What about CPR?" he asked.

Terrible terrible images of my students trying to perform CPR on my unconscious body flashed through my head. 

"Do not perform CPR on me. Did you hear that? IN NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU TRY TO PERFORM CPR ON ME."

"Okay," he said, and started to walk away.

"Wait, I want to ask you a question. Have you been worried that I'll have a heart attack? Do you feel scared that something bad might happen to me? You are such a sweet kid, but I want you to know that nothing-"

"No!" he said. "No. I'm just writing a story where this kid's teacher dies in the middle of class. I wanted to know what it would be like."

Merry Christmas, people, from my class to you. These kids are crazy and I love them to death. To a mid-lesson heart attack death, to be specific ;)

And now, because hey, it's December! here are some pictures of our Christmas tree. The colored lights remind me of my mom, and that makes me happy. 

Around this time of year I start forgetting that there are things to do besides just sit on my couch, smell our tree, and pile the blankets on. (But really, what else is there to do when it's 4 degrees out?)

Happy two weeks until Christmas!

my students say the darnedest things {vol.4}

My teacher friends joke that we could write a book about teaching, and nobody would believe it. The sentences that actually come out of our mouths are so foreign to the average working person that we'd be sued for making things up. Our fellow teachers would get it, and some parents would get it, but that's about it.

A sampling of actual sentences we've said this month alone:

• At school, we get to keep our shirts on all day long!
• You have to stop farting during class. I keep getting complaints.
• It looks like we forgot about the "Don't stick our fingers in other people's mouths" rule.
• Try it again, but this time walk like a human being.
• You're the first person I've met who can read with their eyes closed.
• Everyone gets three points if we don't lose any students in the Halloween parade today!

Literally in no other profession do sentences like that come out of your mouth on a daily basis. (Can you tell which of these were aimed toward the littles and which were said to the upper grades?)

 Via. As if any teacher's classroom ever looked like this.

And now, without further ado, my next installment of the hilarious things my sweet kids say:

Me: "Write this in the margin."

Student: "Isn't margin a type of butter?"

Student talking to her friend: "I've never broken the no gum in school rule. I'm too afraid to find out what the consequence is."

Me: "How was the substitute?"

Student: "I don't mean to be mean, but her shirt was way too small."

Student: "I left my summary at home, but that's okay because I actually memorized it so I can tell it to you so I can still go out for recess."

Me: "You literally memorized your whole summary last night?"

Student: "Yeah!"

Me: "What chapter was it on?"

Student: "Um... Uh... okay fine I'll stay in."

Student, playing hot and cold to help another student find the hidden math problem: "Warmer, warmer, warmer, YOU ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW!"

Rest of class: giggles like crazy

Student: "What? He is! You're HOT! You're HOT! You're SO HOT!"

I am seriously having so much fun with my class this year. They're responsible, they work hard, and they have a sense of humor. I feel blessed to call these 29 kiddos mine from August till May!

best readable teacher fonts

I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who loves teacher fonts. Right? Because there will be about three kids who don't understand the standard algorithm no matter what font it's in. And kids will hate homework no matter what font it's in.

But after my first year of teaching, I've officially jumped on the teacher font bandwagon. (I blame you, Natalie, for my slow-burning revulsion of Comic Sans! :) But when you're grading large stacks of paper for hours, the font makes all the difference, I swear. Cute fonts are also great for letters to parents and things like weekly reading logs that you'll look at every day of the school year. Plus, my students actually notice and comment on the font when it's a cool-looking one. ("Mrs. Emery, did you know that where it says weathering right here, it actually looks like the word is weathering away?!?") (Yes, yes I did notice that. In fact, I planned it.)

So come one, come all, and join the world of teacher fonts. Even if you're not a teacher, these are cute for blog headers and sidebars. I did promise myself I'd never type an entire paragraph in size 12 cutesy hard-to-read font. A few of my blog friends do that, and as much as I love your blogs, it's hard to read that tiny cutesy font! But for everything else, here are my fave fonts. What I love best about these is that they're all readable, and free! 

All of these were downloaded from dafont.com for free. (The top font is called KG A Little Swag.) Enjoy!

What are you fave fonts?

What font do you use most on your blog?

If you're a teacher, are you a teacher font fan or not?

upside-down books, and other important matters

My current view: cute pigtails and an upside-down book

First things first: I finally turned on the heater. We've been trying to do lame responsible things like go green and also save on our bills, etc etc., so we'd been avoiding the heater. But it was COLD last night! I kept waking up to pull on another pair of thick socks. In the morning, I spent a few minutes warming my hands and feet with the blow dryer, and that's when I decided. Carbon footprint be hanged! I'm turning on the heater!

So I did. I came home this afternoon to a nice warm apartment and that unmistakable heater smell. It's a heavenly smell, in a weird, is-something-burning way :)

Side note about the cold: today during morning recess duty, I watched a group of first graders stand in a circle and stare at their breath as it came from their mouths in little puffs. They thought it was THE GREATEST THING since Dora the Explorer light-up shoes. It was hilarious. Another kid came up and said "the grass is crunchy!" and then proceeded to stomp around on the frosted field and crack himself up at the crunchy grass.

Whenever I come back from a break, I'm always sluggish. I think everyone wishes for an extra day off or two during fall break. This week, after fall break, I was feeling those post-break blues. I have to start getting up early again, it's a long commute, blah blah. But then the second my kiddos started walking through the door, it all came back. These kids are awesome! I honestly love being with them all day, helping them learn, watching them figure out how to behave and what to say and what's most important in their little ten-year-old lives. Some day, I want to have kiddos of my own, but for now, I'm so so grateful for these 29 hilarious, honest, hardworking, and talented kids I get to call my own.

Okay, the end. Things can get sappy real fast around here when you get me started on children and education. Or Hallmark commercials. Or baby horses. Or freshly-cut onions.

The real reason for this post is for me to tell you about fall break. But now I've already spent my time on my computer, and plus I'm babysitting a cute baby tonight (moms, how do you get ANYTHING done with a baby who wants to be held all the time???). So I'm off to read more upside-down books and play peek-a-boo with a pillow for hours at a time. It's a good life, people.

Here are some snapshots of things I did during fall break:

 we kicked break off the right way with a late-night adventure up the canyon

family pumpkin carving time

 all the sisters reunited! hanging out with them during fall break was so much fun

 a rare lunch date with my husband (in the middle of the work week! go fall break!)

all I have to say is that I have talented sisters. and it was just as delicious as it looks.

Follow along with me @brookejanette

my students say the darnedest things {vol. 3}

When I first got hired in upper grades, I thought I wouldn't have as many funny comments as I got when I did cohort teaching in younger grades. Oh boy, was I wrong. I crack up, or rather, try not to crack up, every single day with these kids. Here are a few choice comments of the year so far, by the students at my school. This post brought to you by the letter L and the number 15.

Me: "That's right. The overall theme in the Harry Potter books is that love is the strongest magic."

Student: *loud gasp* "I knew it! I knew it!"

Student: "My shoulder aches, I'm seeing white spots, I'm pretty sure my groin is broken, and my head's been shrinking all morning!" (he was serious. bless him.)

Teacher: "Another common simile is 'as wise as Solomon.' Does anyone know who Solomon was?"

Student: "I do! It's the bad guy from Lord of the Rings, and he was NOT wise!"

Overheard on the field trip: "Does your mom ever smell your hair when you get out of the shower to make sure you washed it? Mine does."

Student talking to his teacher in the hall: "It's not my fault! He DARED me to throw it!"

Student caught in my classroom during recess: "Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to be in here.... but um... well my friend said that teachers sleep here during parent teacher conferences, and I think she's lying but I had to come look for a sleeping bag."

Apology letter from a student to a teacher: "Sorry I put ice cubes down his back during science. My dad says I'm in a hard stage of life right now."


At recess on their phones: "Mrs. Emery, which one is right? u r cool, or ur cool?"

I have never ever EVER been bored at my job. Not even once. And I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Happy Thursday!

volume 1 here, volume 2 here

7 Ways Teaching has Ruined Me

They say when you're a teacher, your life is changed forever. It's totally true, but not always in the ways you'd think. Here are 7 ways teaching has ruined me.

1. I can't sleep in past 8am.

The worst part is I actually feel proud of myself for sleeping in all the way until the eight o'clock hour. It's like, "yes! 8am! Livin' the high life!" What happened to the high school me who could sleep 'till 11 on Saturdays?

2. I can't meet a great kid without plotting ways to get them in my 5th grade class.

Hey, a teacher can dream. In a perfect world, our classes would be full of that cute second grader who says hi when you're on bus duty and that one darling, responsible little cousin you talk to at family reunions.

3. I can't sit through a meeting without critiquing the presenter.

I have a bad case of this one. The lessons at my church are always great, but I find myself thinking how good it would be to add a discussion here, ask a question there, write the references on the board, etc.

4. I can't go on a vacation without collecting things for my classroom.

You should have seen our Moab trip. "Pull over, that's an igneous rock!" "Where's the camera, quick before we pass this plateau!" and shoving as many informational brochures as fit in my purse at the visitors center.

5. I can't decorate my house without the urge to use bulletin boards and construction paper.

What do you mean, you don't sell owl-themed green welcome signs at Pottery Barn?

6. I can't help giving the "teacher look" to my family sometimes.

I swear it's accidental. And if you complain about it, I'll give you the teacher look until you stop complaining :) If you're lucky it might even come with a slight shaking of the head. Rare cases warrant a finger point and an eyebrow raise.

7. I can't see a grammar mistake on Facebook without resisting the urge to have them re-write the sentence three times correctly.

Repeat this with me, Cindy:
"Watch this video and YOUR life will change forever"
"Watch this video and YOUR life will change forever"
"Watch this video and YOUR life will change forever"

Oh, teaching. Still the best profession times infinity, early mornings and all.

Teachers, what am I missing?
*graphics via someecards.com, found here

my students love to give me complisults

So. Complisults. A compliment you give someone that's actually half an insult. As it turns out, my students are great at them. Like, really great. And they don't even know it, bless their souls.


On the second day of school:
"Mrs. Emery, everyone said you were super strict, but actually, you're really nice!"


Yesterday: 
"You actually look really pretty today!"


And today:
"You do a really good job having energy even though you look tired by the time the later gators go home!"


And then you get to say thank you to the student for being so polite and going out of their way to give you a complisult compliment :)

But in all seriousness, I have the most darling kids. They work hard, they're sweet, they make me origami dolls during recess. What more could a teacher ask for?

my yearly blogging identity crisis

Every year at the beginning of school, my blog goes through a mini identity crisis. First, I start posting and posting and posting about teaching. Then, I stop having time to read other people's blogs (don't ask how many unread posts are in my bloglovin right now). Then, I look at my posts about silly things like clothes, and compare them with what I consider to be my infinitely more fulfilling and purposeful career, and blogging kind of comes up short.

All of a sudden blogging becomes this thing in the corner that you look at every so often, like "what are you doing here?" It's the short kid with the extra large tee wandering around at the family reunion.

In a few more days, I'll get back in the groove. My schedule will be more routine, my posts will be more balanced, I'll mark all those posts as read read each post and comment faithfully, and remember there are other things to blog about besides teaching (right? aren't there?). I'll get back in the groove and blogging will be my friend and needed outlet. Yes, even the silly posts about clothes. So if you're sick of the teaching posts, I promise they won't all be about teaching. Just 99% of them, so we're good :)

And now a tiny anecdote from my first day of school: I prepared a little speech to give my kiddos when school started. You know, welcome to school, 5th grade is awesome, etc etc. Throw in some smiles and verbal exclamation marks and you're set. So I get up in front of everyone at the beginning of the day, all ready for my speech.

Me: "Good morning students! Welcome to 5th Gr-"
Student: "I have a bloody nose! I have a bloody nose!"

That's as far as my speech got. Welcome to the fifth grade. I love it :)

*photos by KNW - first seen here. K, I miss you.

this post is mostly about school supplies

I feel it only fair to warn you that, as a teacher during back to school season, my posts may be heavy on the school supply side of things. Which is fine by me, because the day when the supply order comes is Christmas for teachers. Something about all 8 markers being in the box, reams of paper waiting to be written on, pencils with the erasers that haven't been chewed off or used up, and crayons that haven't been shoved up any fifth grade noses yet. (What, still shoving crayons up noses in the fifth grade?) (Yes. And beyond.)

Yesterday I was at Walmart getting some school supplies. In the checkout line, there was a busy family in front of me. The mom turned around and said "these kids say you're a fifth grade teacher at our school." She introduced her darling oldest daughter who's going into fifth grade this year. The daughter wanted to know if she was in my class (wish we had our class lists already!). Then we discussed the decorative pencils in my cart, and how the green zebra stripe pencil was tied with the rainbow polka dot pencil for best pattern.


It was a 90-second conversation, but it was the link that had been missing this year. Until then, getting my class ready was mostly a checklist thing. That little conversation helped me get excited about the STUDENTS, the real life 10-year-old human beings who will be in my classroom losing one marker per box and erasing those erasers right off the end of the pencils. It was just what I needed, and now I'm truly excited for the year.


Here are a few more pictures of my classroom this year. As always, it's not done, but it's a good start!

And then the cashier lady asked me if I was a secretary(?). No ma'am I'm not, but if you find out about a major corporate office that writes with wide-ruled paper and has coloring time, let me know :)